SPAM: On the Flipside
by nelysofmordor
Summary: Anything you least expect will happen, MTT style. Co-authored with Lady Lioness. ^_^ Itadakimasu!


this is a SPAM fic co-authored with Lady Lioness. by the way, her fics are really cool, so you should   
check them out. ( LL: I didn't tell her to say that. I swear. She's nuts and is holding me  
hostage. Send help!) don't listen to that lady behind the curtain. this fic was brought about through  
sheer exhaustion and the fact that the stress of finals snappped our neurons. *sailorscully rubs hands   
together* (LL: *rolls eyes*)   
  
  
In a galaxy far, far away.......  
  
  
  
no, wait. wrong story.   
  
  
  
  
*ahem* It was a hopscotch day with chalk drawings across the sidewalks and little kids screaming  
amongst the flying drops of muddy fire hydrant water. Of course, our friendly Magic Club were   
up to their usual hijinks. Because most of the students were playing hooky, the club had conquered  
the empty cafeteria. The usual suspects were all present.  
  
Nanaka was buffing her newly-polished nails as she lounged across the top of one of the vinyl-coated   
tables which had been meticulously polished by one of the unfortunate underclassmen who had fallen under  
her dominatrix regime. (Who knew?) The cafeteria light reflected off of Nanaka's gold lame form-fitting outfit and   
caught the eye of Aburatsubo who was in the process of glomping Takeo's "special magic wand." Takeo was   
struggling like a little puppy on a short leash. Suddenly, Aburatsubo threw Takeo aside, and lunged for  
the beauteous Nanaka. The force of his momentum carried them off the table. In midair, a cutesy   
ear-splitting shriek could be heard as Aburatsubo plastered her face with wet kisses. She froze in shock   
for a moment, and with a resounding "what the hell" proceeded to "show him how it's done." The captive   
audience of underclassmen proceeded to take copious notes. They had never known there were so many creative  
uses for the tongue.  
  
Takeo had landed with a violent thud against the far wall. He sat up, rubbing the bump on his head as he  
regarded the antics of Aburatsubo and Nanaka. "I thought you loved me!!," he cried mournfully. Suddenly,  
Sae frolicked with little butterflies and baby bluebirds in her wake, plopping down by her hunk's side.   
"Oh, Takeo, let's change the alphabet and put 'u' and 'i' together!" Takeo looked at Sae distractedly,   
still idly rubbing the bump on his head. With unexpected logic, he replied, "But then all the hard work  
the Magic Club has done will be in vain." Sae cutely propped her chin on her folded hands and batted her  
eyelashes at him. "Oh I don't care! At least this way I'll get some!" Takeo sweatdrops and promptly passes  
out with a nosebleed.   
  
Suddenly, Miyama Mizuha, the President of the Manga Club, entered the cafeteria only to find Sae straddling   
Takeo, looking down at him expectantly. With a shriek of outrage, she flew across the room, as if spurned on  
by the hounds of hell, the fires of vengeance blazing in her eyes. Sae was momentarily confounded, then   
responded by raking her nails violently down Mizuha's back. And then, the epic battle that would reign in   
infamy had begun.   
  
Akane, uninterested in the history-in-the-making before her, glanced around the room. She found the  
Club Supervisor, who was drooling over the clothes tearing spectacle that was taking place. Suddenly, she  
found herself possessed by the wandering spirit of Austin Powers. The world was suddenly bathed in  
psychadelic colors and everything looked shiny and neon. She sauntered over to the Supervisior, draping  
herself against his side. He looked her, still dazed from the amount of flesh that was being revealed in  
the Great Catfight of 2001, and she beatifically smiled up at him, drawling lazily, "Education is love, man."  
She reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled ziplock bag, filled with plantlife. Displaying  
it to him proudly, she said, "I found it out by the slide, man. The Man tries to make everyone go down  
the slide, but lemme tell ya, this helps you go up."   
  
Most of the underclassmen were suffering from severe blood loss as they were treated to impromptu demonstrations  
of possible contortions of the human body. Aburatsubo had Nanaka shoved against a wall, her legs wrapped  
firmly around his waist as he tried to rip off the few remaining shreds of clothing that tenaciously  
clung to her body. In the process of ravishing her, one of her bronze-plated sneakers (don't ask,  
don't tell, we'll all feel better in the morning) went careening through the air to land as though by  
divine interference in Sae's hand. Taking advantage of the precipecitous turn of fate, she began violently  
beating Mizuha with the Weapon of Gods. A lucky blow revealed that, like Sampson with his hair and like Achilles  
with his heel, Mizuha's weak spot appeared by her overflowing clevage. One good whack from Sae on the aforementioned  
spot caused Mizuha to shriek, "No, they'll pop!" and she ran screaming out of the room, clutching  
her breasts, which caused the few remaining students in the school to pass out as they witnessed her  
streak through campus.   
  
Takeo had roused from unconsciousness in time to witness the end of Catfight '01. Checking on the status  
of Aburatsubo and Nanaka revealed that they were re-enacting the Garden of Eden. Sucking in the inevitable  
bloodflow, he whipped around, crosseyed, and his gaze landed on a scantily-clad Sae. The blood immediately  
headed to another part of his body and he jauntily approached her, confident in his male prowess...for once.  
Sae blinked up at him, hugging Jeff-kun to her bosom, as Takeo growled suggestively at her. Using his best  
Barry White voice, he said, "If you still wanna, I still wanna." Shooting him a disinterested look, she  
replied, "Sorry, honey, I was lonely and Jeff-kun was there to complete me. He nursed me back to health  
after my climatic battle with Mizuha and he was so tender, I couldn't resist. We fell in love. He brought  
me flowers and I sang to him, my new song, "The Ode to the Shoe." Even though he won't admit it, I really  
think that he was responsible for the shoe being in the right place at the right time." Takeo stared her for  
a moment, and then went to the ground in a facefault. Sae turned her back to him, crooning sweet nothings to  
her Jeff-kun.   
  
Thanks to Akane's persuasive wiles, the Club Supervisor was well and truly buzzed. Some of the underclassmen  
wandered over to hear his words of wisdom about how education is love and love is education. Soon the aroma of  
Akane's stash filled the room, and the students banded together to chant peace songs while Aburatsubo and Nanaka  
basked in afterglow.   
  
  
Peace out, man..............make love, not war.   
  
  
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Authors' Notes:  
  
Lady Lioness: I wanted to have Nanaka melt Aburatsubo's mother, a la "The Wizard of Oz," but sailorscully  
put the kibosh on that, since I also wanted Aburatsubo to turn into a flying monkey. She's a big ole  
spoilsport. This is my first and only Magic Club fanfic so enjoy this rare treat. Especially since I've  
only seen part of one episode. Damn, I'm good.   
  
sailorscully: wow, someone's confident! (ll: At least I use proper grammar.) well, i use proper grammar   
where it counts. :p considering it's only my second fic ever, this was a new and interesting challenge. ^_^  
luckily, i was there to help Lady Lioness with her lack of knowledge of MTT. (ll: Lies, all lies!) well,  
that's enough of that. this may or may not be funny. we don't care. enjoy! 


End file.
